Posted by: deborahgilbert42 | October 27, 2011

Leaving Capri

the_babysitters_club-show

I have never left Capri with a sitter for longer than 2 hours maybe (though this Saturday I am leaving her for 3 hours with a friend). I have been away from her for up to 5 hours but she was with Stefan during those times and he doesn’t count because fathers don’t babysit they parent (that is a rant for another day).

So on to the point of this post. I have been having a few anxiety issues over the fact that I will have to leave Capri when I go into labour with baby #2 – and I know that it is months away but it is very stressful. She will be 22 months when the new baby comes but it will be her first time being away from me all night and with someone else for that long. She will be going to one of my really good friends houses who has a son a year younger than Capri and she cloth diapers so I know she will know what to do in that area, but I still worry.

I don’t like leaving her. She likes being with me or Stefan. She still needs me at night time most nights. I am hoping that by May she will be better at sleeping through the night but I still don’t like the thought of being away from her for such a long time. I don’t have desires to “escape” from my child for a night like some people do. I like being the one she needs and I am her mom I want to be there for her and most of the time I am the only one that can calm her down if she is upset.

I have talked to one of my best friends about this and she too is super worried (she is due a month and half before me). So I at least know I am not the only one out there that doesn’t want to leave their child.

I am already thinking of the things I will have to do to get her ready for me going into labour. I will want to make sure she has a bag packed and that I can throw all of her diapers in a bag and grab any dirty ones, make sure we have her pack and play ready to go and her car seat installed in their van so they can come visit us ASAP after the baby is born. It is stressful because our hospital is an hour away from where we live so it is not like we are in the same town and she can visit us in the hospital a lot while we are there.

So this is one of my big fears with this baby (leaving my other baby).


Responses

  1. Hi Deborah, leaving my daughter Cori is something I worried about too when I was expecting our second child. She had never been away from me or Jordan for more than a few hours, and had never been away from me for night. She also was not sleeping through the night consistently yet. She had just had her second birthday a week before I went into labour. We had asked one of our close friends here to take her went we went to the hospital. They had babysat her on a few other occasions, and have 2 older (primary age) girls that she likes to play with. The weeks leading up, we had prepared her saying that when it’s time for the baby to come, Mommy and Daddy will go to the hospital, but you get to go to our friend’s house to sleep, and they will take care of you. I had her bag all ready, and we gave them the carseat, and also a key to our house, just in case. For sleeping arrangements, they set up a bed for her on the floor of their room. They didn’t bother with a set bedtime or anything, just let her play there with them in the room until she was so tired she put herself to sleep. Not what we usually do at home, but under the circumstances, it made the night less stressful for her and our friends. Once we got to the hospital, I didn’t really have much time to worry about her. I guess I was a little preoccupied! I think Jordan was a little more concerned than I was. Our friends brought her to the hospital the next morning when I was nearing the end of my labour. They just played in the kids waiting area, and she had lots of fun with the new toys. She got to come in and see me, and the new baby less than an hour after he was born. It was really special to see her meet him. The second night, Jordan stayed at home, so Cori was with him, and my Mom was also there as she had been able to catch a last-minute flight. The next day, they brought her back in the morning for a little while, and I took her down to the cafeteria for a special “Mommy-Daughter” lunch. I was able to go home later that day. All in all, things went probably better than I would have expected being away from her. Cori is really Mommy’s girl, and she did great with me being away those two nights. I did have to try and spend extra time with her after getting home though, but I think that’s to be expected when a new baby arrives. I know this comment is a bit long, but I hope hearing our experience helps calm some of your fears.

    • no it was really helpful thanks. Yeah Capri is very much a mommy’s girl. She would rather sit next to me all day than play. Thanks for your story.

  2. First of all, totally agree with you on the “fathers don’t babysit, they parent” part. More fathers need to realize that.
    Darrek informed me that he was going to stay home with Grayson while I had our second child. So there’s a suggestion for you! HA!
    It also depends on if you have a day labor or a night labor. Day labor maybe she could visit you! She’s allowed to be with you after, and I would ask to go home early, if there are no complications, that is. I assume it’s the Hoopers who are keeping her? She’ll be more than happy with them I’m sure, a little one to chase around, and like April said, you’ll be preoccupied to be too worried :) Hope your fears are calmed by the time she’s born. <3

  3. I also love the Babysitters Club picture – loved them!

  4. I would feel the same way. I do not get it when people are excited to go on vacations and stuff without their babies. I wouldn’t even have fun without Sebastian! Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE when he naps, but I don’t feel right without him near me.

    I have the same pet peeve when people say that “Dad is babysitting.” That pretty much sums up everything that is wrong with society and whenever someone phrases it like that, they are basically giving dads permission to be deadbeats.


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